What is a Death Doula?
A death or end-of-life doula is someone who provides companionship, comfort, and guidance to those planning for death, diagnosed with a terminal illness, or facing imminent death. Doulas offer nonmedical holistic support — physical, emotional and spiritual — to the dying person and their loved ones. A doula’s support allows loved ones to to be fully present with the person in transition, enjoying the final hours and days together, rather than being completely absorbed by the demands on caregiving, logistics and other concerns. The doula is always assessing safety, patient care and comfort, and anticipates patient and caregiver needs, often acting as the “eyes and ears” for hospice nurses, who are often unable to spend much time with individual patients.
A Good Death, LLC, is a full-service death doula business. Services include helping you and your loved ones with:
- Advanced planning, including living wills, do not resuscitate orders (DNRs), and other health care documents to help ensure that your end-of-life wishes are honored. Planning our own good death frees up psychic energy, allowing us to live more fully here and now!
- The bedside vigil, supporting the individual in transition as well as loved ones, including bereavement support.
- Home funeral guidance, including care and preparation of the body after death. Guidance for cremation, aquamation and other means of disposing of human remains, including traditional burials, as well as “green” or natural burials.
- Life celebrations, held before or after death to celebrate that person’s life journey. Today, many people choose to a hold a celebration before they die, allowing them to say their goodbyes and enjoy the company of family and friends while they are still physically able to do so.
- Legacy wills or life stories. As a writer, I also enjoy helping people share their wisdom and tell the story of their life for the benefit of friends, family and members of clubs or organizations important to the client. Everyone is a unique expression of universal consciousness, and regardless of how insignificant one may feel about their life’s journey, everyone has value and wisdom to share. Every story shared is a blessing, and has the power to shape another’s future. Legacy wills can be short and simple, marking key milestones in life, or more lengthy and complex. It’s your life, and regardless of the circumstance, it’s sacred and well worth sharing.
- Personal caregiving, including medical advocacy and accompanying people to health care appointments, running errands, companionship and socialization, nutritional guidance and lending a compassionate, listening ear.
We are all just walking each other home
“If we are aware that death can happen at any moment, we start to work on ourselves more constantly, paying attention to the moment-to-moment content of our minds. If you practice being here now, being fully in the moment during your life, if you are living in that space, then the moment of death is just another moment.”
— Ram Dass
How I became a death doula
Becoming a death doula sprang forth naturally from my Shamanic path.
On the first day of my three-year program with the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, the class was told to go find a large, flat rock to sit on, then find a smaller rock to grind against the larger one with a question in mind. Still a bit of a skeptic at the time, my question was, “Okay, what am I doing here? What is that you want me to do with this training?” After a half-day of this ancient, rock-grinding meditation, the answer I received was two-fold. I was told that I am to help others heal from trauma, and to help people at the time of their transition from this earthly plane.
So, in 2022 I became a certified death doula, and specialize in the end-of-life, bedside vigil, advanced planning, home funerals, green burials and caregiving for our elders. I also facilitate a monthly death cafe, in which my only goal is to help people prepare for their own good death, whatever that looks like to them. My services are available in person or remotely.